801-900 of 1001 of the Funniest Redneck Jokes Ever

801 You’ve ever valet parked a snow plow.
802 You’ve ever water-skied in your underwear.
803 You’ve ever worn a tie with a flannel shirt.
804 You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
805 You’ve got a tab at the ABC Liquor Store.
806 You’ve got more than one other named “Darryl.
807 You’ve got more than three cousins named “Bubba.
808 You’ve had a custody fight over a hunting dog.
809 You’ve never seen a film with subtitles.
810 You’ve totaled every car you’ve ever owned.
811 Your 14 year old daughter smokes at the dinner table – in front of her two kids.
812 Your 2-year old has more teeth than you do.
813 Your 23-channel CB radio is used to communicate with your family.
814 Your 5 year old calls your mother MOM and YOU Debbie.
815 Your 5-year-old can rebuild a carburetor.
816 Your 80 year old grandma can shoot better than you.
817 Your airplane cost you less than 15 hundred bucks and uses two stroke oil.
818 Your ashtray is too full, so you use the floor.
819 Your at a family reuniuon, your mother-in-law goes to the bathroom and then says, “Y’all come look at this ‘fore I flush it.”
820 Your baby’s crib mobile is made out of beer cans.
821 Your bathroom deodorizer is a box of kitchen matches.
822 Your bathroom is 50 feet away from your house.
823 Your bathroom is your favorite make-out place.
824 Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
825 Your beer can pyramid is taller than your trailer.
826 Your belt buckle doubles as a serving platter.
827 Your belt buckle doubles as an I.D.
828 Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
829 Your best coon hound gets a birthday present and your wife doesn’t.
830 Your best jacket has an advertisement on the back of it.
831 Your best laundry bag is made by Hefty.
832 Your best pick-up line for women is written on your baseball cap.
833 Your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.
834 Your biggest ambition in live is to “git thet big’ole coon. The one what hangs ’round over yonder, back’ah bubba’s barn…”
835 Your birthday cake consisted of nothing but Twinkies.
836 Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
837 Your boots cost more than your wedding ring.
838 Your bridal veil was made of window screen.
839 Your bring a bar of soap to a public pool.
840 Your brother is your wife’s favorite son.
841 your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
842 Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
843 Your car ashtray is so packed, you can’t get it out.
844 Your car breaks down on the side of the road and you never go back to get it.
845 Your car has more than three bumper stickers with the word jesus on them.
846 Your car has more than two exhaust pipes.
847 Your car insurance deductible is higher than the value of your car.
848 Your car uses more oil than gas.
849 Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
850 Your CB antenna on your truck doubles as your cane pole.
851 Your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting.
852 Your child’s first words were, “Attention K-Mart shoppers!.
853 Your children look more like your brothers-in-law than your husband you are worried that he might notice.
854 Your chili’s secret ingredient comes from a bait shop.
855 Your Christmas tree has a deer stand in it.
856 Your church has a happy hour.
857 Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
858 Your coat of arms features a tire iron.
859 Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
860 Your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler.
861 Your computer don’t work cuz the cat ate the mouse.
862 Your Computer has Winders 95 instead of Windows.
863 Your considered an expert on wormbeds.
864 Your dad guts one of the old TV’s for a another knick-knack shelf.
865 Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
866 Your dad pees on a rabbit’s head while peeing off the back porch.
867 Your dad plays “the pull my finger” joke at family gatherings.
868 Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
869 your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade.
870 Your daddy handed out cigarettes the day you were born.
871 Your Daddy picks you up from school in a Swamp Buggy.
872 Your daddy’s last words were “Hey ya’ll look what I can do!”
873 Your daddy’s legacy is a gun rack and Jerry Clower’s autograph on a Stuckey’s napkin.
874 Your dates regularly expect you to light their cigars.
875 Your daughter gets married before you do.
876 Your daughter thinks she a reincarnation of Xena because she has nightmares about her.
877 Your deceased hunting dog’s tombstone is larger than your grandfather’s.
878 Your deer stand has an address.
879 Your dishwasher consists of kids that you baby-sit.
880 Your divorce granted from first wife and your license to wed to your second wife are in the same newspaper.
881 your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
882 Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
883 Your dog can open a beer can for you.
884 Your dog can smoke a cigarette.
885 Your dog can’t watch you eat without gagging.
886 Your dog has a litter of puppies on your living room floor and no one notices.
887 Your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.
888 Your dog rides in the front seat and your kids ride in the back.
889 Your dog wants you to be the girl tonght.
890 Your dog’s collar costs more than the clothes you are wearing.
891 Your doghouse and your living room both have the same shag carpet.
892 Your dogs kill more animals than you do all hunting season.
893 Your engine is duct-taped to your car.
894 Your excuse for missing your oldest sons grauation is, “Hell woman, you think the crappie bite like this all year?”
895 Your family gathers for Monday Night RAW.
896 Your family reuinions consist of ex-wives.
897 Your family reunion features a chewing tobacco spit-off.
898 Your family reunion is sponsored by a beer company.
899 Your family tree doesn’t have any branches.
900 Your family’s #1 enemy is revenuers.